Fanon Hotel: Episode 2
NOTE: The author of this story does not encourage underage drunkenness or drunk driving and feels that alcohol should be consumed only in moderate amounts no matter how old you are. This is a work of fiction and is not to be taken as glamorizing underage drunkenness or encouraging readers to get drunk. Enjoy. Previously, on a very special Fanon Hotel... The wiki members all arrived at the hotel and met for the first time. Lazaro was a pervert, Ponyo was...well, Ponyo, Da Nerd was awkward, Jellyfish was...well, Jellyfish, and everyone else didn't do much. They then ordered pizza, then late at night when Lazaro tries to cope a feel on Ponyo, she breaks some devastating news to him. Well, devastating if you're a hormonal teenage boy. (theme song plays) The next morning, the members woke up in confusion for a minute as to where they were. "Are you that chick I banged last week?", Lazaro in a dazed state asked Ponyo, which earned him a slap on the face. "Oh yeah, we're at a hotel." Da Nerd said, before realizing he was on top of Simon. "AH! What the hell?" Ponyo giggled. "Oh yeah, you guys fell asleep on top of each other." "That's weird." Simon said. "Oh, come on, I know you liked it." Ponyo teased, walking over to shirtless Topher on the futon. She went over and poked his belly button, giggling "Boop." "AHHHHHHHH!" Topher screamed, immediately jumping up. "Don't you ever do that again!" Meanwhile, Jellyfish was in the kitchen blasting "Way Down The Line" by The Offspring. "Hey, could you keep it down?" Spike asked Jellyfish from the living room. "Oh, what was that?" Jellyfish asked. "I can't hear you over the MIND-BLOWING MUSIC TRAVELING THROUGH THIS ROOM." "Yeah, Dave, are you on the sauce or something?" Ponyo asked. Meanwhile, Lazaro again was aiming at Ponyo's breasts, as he attempted to grab her from behind, but she was prepared for this; she backhanded him across the face without even looking back. "Come on, babe!" Lazaro whined with a bloody nose. "No breast-grabbing on the second day." Ponyo said. "Maybe tomorrow." "So, what do you guys wanna do today?" Da Nerd asked. "I don't know." Ponyo said, pulling her laptop out. A graphic yaoi sex manga immediately opened, but thankfully no one was watching as she jumped and closed it. When Jellyfish went to the bathroom, Topher took control of the music coming from the kitchen, and starting playing "Here's To Never Growing Up" by Avril Lavigne. Jellyfish then came out of the bathroom and began yelling at Topher. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?" "I got tired of listening to 'My Generation' on loop." Topher muttered. "So I just changed the music." "WHAT? HOW DO YOU GET TIRED OF LISTENING TO 'MY GENERATION'?" "Ladies, ladies, break it up." Ponyo said, getting between the two. "I've got a better idea. I heard there's a casino/bar downtown which doesn't check for ID." "Why doesn't they check for ID?" Simon asked. "BECAUSE THEY JUST DON'T." Ponyo snapped back at him. "So, anyways, I was thinking some of us older crowd could head down there?" "Hey!" Topher yelled. "What about us?" "You can just stay at the hotel. This trip is for big kids only." Ponyo grabbed Lazaro, MrScience, IHeart, Jellyfish, Spike, JCM, and Teleram (yes, she miraculously did that, she summoned an additional six arms on her or some shit I can't care to explain) out the door to the bar/casino. "So you're sure we can all pass for 21?" JCM asked. "I'm fairly certain." Ponyo stated, running down the street. "Now come on! We're almost there!" At last, they finally arrived. Jellyfish started to walk in the door approaching the guard but chickened out at the last minute. Finally Ponyo gave up on the rest of the crybabies and went up to the security guard. "Hello, my friends and I would like to enter this fine establishment." Ponyo said, trying to sound sophisticated enough to be 21. ---- Ponyo opened the door to a whole new world, filled with poker chips and vodka. Ponyo leaned into the bar next to two other underage girls who had margaritas running down their shirts and pulled her cash out, waiting for the bartender to notice. Finally, he came over. "Hello there, little lady." The bartender asked. "What can I get you tonight?" "A shot of Hendrick's Gin." Ponyo said. "You sure there, sweetheart? That's a strong drink for a little one like you. You sure you don't want one of them Skinny Girl drinks?" "Nah, that's for pussies. I can take it." "You go, girl!" One of the underage girls next to her said as she was making out with the other girl. "Alrighty, whatever you say. A shot of Hendrick's Gin coming right up." Just then, Lazaro entered the bar. "Hey, Ponyo." "Oh hi Lazaro. So, what're you getting?" Lazaro paused. He knew pretty much nothing about this. "Just a beer." Ponyo laughed. "'Just a beer'? First of all, beer is like piss. That stuff will never get you drunk. Clearly, you're new to this. Also, what brand of beer? If you just say 'beer', the bartender is going to think you're a dumbass." "Alright, alright. Wait, when you did you start sneaking into bars?" "Hmm. I think I was 12." "TWELVE?!" "Hey, I was bored and there was no security. Why not?" "So that's why you know so much. So, um...can you tell me some brands?" Just then, the bartender came up. "Here's your gin, sweetheart. Also, can I ask you a favor?" "Nothing sexual." Ponyo said, holding her gin. "Don't worry, I'm not that kind of guy. It's my wife's birthday, and I need to get home so I can set up the surprise party for her. I already invited a bunch of her friends and I've got a couple of guys working on design right now, but I should be there to see the look on her face." "And this has what to do with me?" "You see, when my wife gets home from work, I'll still be at work. That is unless someone can cover for me, and everyone else has gone home." "So you're saying you want me to work your shift?" "I was hoping you could. I'll pay you $40 for it. Are you good at mixing drinks?" "I'd say I'm pretty good." "Alright, I've got an hour and a half left, don't let any minors order anything." Ponyo smirked. "Don't worry, I won't.", and the bartender walked out the door. Lazaro stared at her blankly. "Ponyo, are you seriously taking a job when we're supposed to be having fun here?" Lazaro said, as Ponyo tried to shush him. "Shhhhh." Ponyo whispered. "It's just for an hour and a half, then we can go have fun. I don't know what kind of 'fun' we'll be having though, unless you find a condom miraculously discarded somewhere in here." Lazaro paused for a second, and his eyes lit up. "You really think I could?!" "It's worth a shot." He then ran off to find a condom somewhere, as Ponyo sighed in relief. Thank God he's off my back. Ponyo thought, looking at the bar. Well, this place is pretty much dead, so I can just play on my phone for 90 minutes. Yaaaay! Just as Ponyo thought she could get paid $40 to play Temple Run, a woman clearly distressed and angry came into the bar. "One dry lemonade. Make it snappy." The woman said. Ponyo sighed. She knew she could never get out of anything... --- Meanwhile, Simon, Topher, William, and Da Nerd were sitting bored in the hotel. "What the h#ck do you guys wanna do?" Topher asked. "I think I've got an idea." Da Nerd said with a smirk. --- Episode 3 preview: This episode unexpectedly is so long it has to be split into two parts! Next episode: Lazaro and everyone else at the bar gets addicted to gambling, Topher, Simon, William and DN become snoops, and Ponyo offers life advice and maybe a bit more to a woman in distress trying to drink her problems away. Stay tuned! Category:Fanon Hotel episodes